word fails

Yang patah di ujung kata, tumbuh dan patah kembali karena rasa

Another artistic video

Ok, I'm huge fans of MIKA.
But it's not the reason why I tagged this video as another artistic video (I'm trying to be objective).
So, first, check this out:

MIKA - Underwater

After tired of blink-blink, almost nude, even combined with scene of movie (you can see the example from movie soundtrack; ie: Breaking Dawn, Skyfall), finally I see the unique concept that made by MIKA.

The main concept of the video is MIKA is on almost-cracked-boat in the middle of sea. Wind was blowing his hair. Wave made the boat slowly reach the land.
MIKA was not in the real sea, we could see very large blue textile as sea.
If you ever go to the theathre, MIKA (maybe) was inspired by the theathre stage.

The important thing of this video is MIKA was sailing alone and taking a package. He was really care with it. Suddenly it drown and MIKA jumped to the sea to save it. The most beautiful scene in this video starts from here. Mermaid-men (and I think I see a mermaid-woman too) was dancing underwater. As you know, doing any activity underwater make it looks so slowly. They (incl. MIKA) were half-naked.

I try to intrepretate the whole scene. The sailing scene is trying to describe our journey, try to find our meaning of life. Once we found it (in this case, I'd like to say it is Love), we bring it everywhere we are. We try to keep it safely, even we bet our life for Love. If it lost, we could do anything to get it back. Because without it, we (feel) have no life.

It is beautiful, isn't it?

short stories

Since twitter has been distracting my writing ability, I'll try to collect my less 140 characters and write them back here.

December 2, 2012

"Into the night, you left from my sight. Since that day, there's no light".

November 23, 2012

"I missed you. Every single breath. I loved throwing up my most hurt word, because your level of stupidity is great".

November 22, 2012

"Aku sedang berlari. emoga kita tak bertemu di persimpangan dan menautkan jari".


November 21, 2012

"Hey, sekarang hujan. Aku tergenang rindu. Menyusahkan saja".


November 15, 2012

"Blossoms dance in the wind. But a flower never sinned. Why do we have to blame it on rain?"


November 14, 2012

"You give me beautiful words when we're not speaking. Moment of silence is the moment that we understand each other. I love you, books".

November 12, 2012

" "You're my melody of my lyrics", he said. "Your voice is bad. I'll find another man to sing your song", I promised him. Wisdom hurts, baby".


November 3, 2012

"Semua terbiasa dan berlalu. Aku terbiasa merindu hingga berujung kelu".


October 30, 2012

"I'm writing love notes on your back. You can't see it, but it's there and you can feel it. Just like my love, I'm always on your back".

"After I left you, I had memory from your shadow. I'm standing next to you, we're kissing in the autumn. It feels as cold as my heart".

"When I'm with you, lethologica is torturing me".


October 29, 2012

"My subsconscious has believed me more than my conscious".

"I'm looking for you every night in every shadow. And I see darkness without you. Shivers".

"Without your warmth words, I'm shivering".


October 28, 2012

"Jika rindu ini luka, biarkan kenangan menyiramkan cuka ke dalam pedihnya. Aku ingin merasakan nyata, bukan maya".

"Kapan kita bertemu, saling menatap malu dan mengatakan rindu?"

October 24, 2012

"Hey, mungkin ini rindu. Kapan terakhir kali kita melupakan waktu?"

October 22, 2012

"Lelaki sepertimu cuma takut pada 2 hal: takut kehilangan pemuja dan takut setia pada satu perempuan".

October 21, 2012

"I love you, no word could explain. I love you, only description. I love you, alas, it's your imagination"


October 18, 2012

"Kenapa harus berucap ketika menatapmu membuatku mati terperangkap?"

"Hey, kapan kita bercumbu lalu mengucap rindu?"


October 16, 2012

"Aku lebih suka kamu tidak memahami tanda yang ku kirim daripada kamu tidak tau kalau aku selalu memberi tanda untukmu".


October 15, 2012

reply to @HariPurwanto "rindu itu candu yang terus melagu".


October 14, 2012

"Hey, semalam saya mimpi tentang kamu. Sudah berapa lama kita tak bertegur sapa hingga menuju jemu? Jangan bilang ini rindu".


October 12, 2012

"I don't need Apple maps to get completely lost in your eyes".


September 19, 2012

"You aren't my past, you aren't my memory, you aren't my illusion. The conclusion: my life is perfect".


September 12, 2012

"Aku harap ketika aku move on, kamu gak ikut-ikutan move on. Bisa gawat kalau kita ketemu lagi di persimpangan".


September 5, 2012

"I watched your sight secretly...in my head"

"Jika nanti aku jelang mimpi, ku harap kau tak menepi."

"Kau beri tanda jeda di dalam megah tak bernada."

"Just because you are my star I'd like to see you when distance becomes so far".

"We used to laugh the world. We used to love the blues. I live in no word, you left me without a clue".

"We were teenager, we left the anger. The shame stays longer, we shouldn't be a lover".

"Said goodbye for the last time. Heart sings lullaby because friend couldn't be blamed".

"You're a man, I'm a woman. Grown up together, but we're friend since born and love is over".

"They've said I'm a girl with no soul, with you I've became a fool".

"I'd like to ask sleepless question, now all your answers linger in my dream motion".

"You used to be the reason I missbehave. You are the reason the dream I slave".

Italian Song

Belakangan ini saya lagi seneng banget dengerin lagu-lagu berbahasa Italia. Padahal saya gak ngerti mereka ngomong apaan. Tapi, apalah arti sebuah lagu berbahasa asing kalau pendengarnya merasa 'nyaman' dengan lagunya. So, let's say fu*k to language, I mean the grammar :p


Nah, salah satu lagu Italia yang saya sukai berjudul Vivo Per Lei yang dibawakan oleh Andrea Bocelli ft Giogia.

Vivo per lei da quando sai
La prima volta l'ho incontrata
Non mi ricordo come ma
Mi entrata dentro e c'è restata
Vivo per lei perche' mi fa
Vibrare forte l'anima
Vivo per lei e non un e' peso

Vivo per lei anch'io lo sai
E tu non esserne geloso
Lei e' di tutti quelli che
Hanno un bisogno sempre acceso
Come uno stereo in camera
Di chi da solo e adesso sa
Che anche per lui, per questo
Io vivo per lei
E' una musa che ci invita
A sfiorarla con le dita
Attraverso un pianoforte
La morte lontana
Io vivo per lei
Vivo per lei che spesso sa
Essere dolce e sensuale
A volte picchia in testa ma
E' un pugno che non fa mai male
Vivo per lei lo so mi fa
Girare di citta' in citta'
Soffrire un po' ma almeno io vivo
E' un dolore quando parte
Vivo per lei dentro gli hotels
Con piacere estremo cresce
Vivo per lei nel vortice
Attraverso la mia voce
Si espande e amore produce

Vivo per lei nient'altro ho
E quanti altri incontrero'
Che come me hanno scritto in viso:
Io vivo per lei

Io vivo per lei
Sopra un palco o contro a un muro...
Vivo per lei al limite
...Anche in un domani duro
Vivo per lei al margine
Ogni giorno
Una conquista
La protagonista
Sara' sempre lei

Vivo per lei perche' oramai
Io non ho altra via d'uscita
Perche' la musica lo sai
Davvero non l'ho mai tradita
Vivo per lei perche' mi da
Pause e note in liberta'
Ci fosse un'altra vita la vivo
La vivo per lei
Vivo per lei la musica
Io vivo per lei
Vivo per lei e' unica
Io vivo per lei
Io vivo per lei
Io vivo
Per lei


_________________________________________________________________


I LIVE FOR HER


I live for her, you know, since
the first time I met her.
I do not remember how, but
she entered within me and stayed there.
I live for her because she makes
my soul vibrate so strongly.
I live for her and it is not a burden.

I live for her too, you know,
and don’t be jealous:
she belongs to all those who
have a need that is always switched on
like a stereo in the bedroom,
to someone who is alone and now knows
that she is also for him; for this reason
I live for her.

She is a muse who invites us
to brush her with the fingers.
Through a piano
death remains far away;
I live for her.

I live for her who often knows
how to be sweet and sensual;
sometimes she stuns you but
it is a blow that never hurts.

I live for her. I know she makes me
travel from town to town
and suffer a little, but at least I live.

It is painful when she leaves.
I live in hotels for her.
It grows with supreme pleasure.
I live for her in the vortex.
Through my voice
it expands and produces love.

I live for her, I have nothing else,
and how many others I shall meet
who, like me, have written on their faces
"I live for her."

I live for her
on a dais or against a wall
I live for her to the limit.
…also in a harsh tomorrow.
I live for her to the very edge.
Every day
a conquest;
the protagonist
will always be her.

I live for her because now
I have no other way out,
because, you know, music
is something I have truly never betrayed.

I live for her because she gives me
rests and notes with freedom.
If there were another life I’d live it,
I’d live it for her.

I live for her, music.
I live for her.
I live for her, she is unique.
I live for her.
I live for her.
I live
for her. 

Feeling a Gut, huh?

I feel like walking
Do you feel like coming?
I feel like talking cause
It's been a long time

Now your hair is long
And you look so thin
You're always so pale
But something has changed
You're almost a man

Four years and I still cry sometimes
First love never die
Four years and I still cry sometimes
First love never die

Long time no see
Long time wondering
What you were doing
Who you were seeing
I wish I could go back to it

I feel like walking
Do you feel like coming?
I feel like crying cause
It's been a long time

Four years and I still cry sometimes
First love never die
Four years and I still cry sometimes
First love never die

Can you feel the same?
I will never love again
Can you feel the same?
I will never love again
Can you feel the same?
I will never love again
Can you feel the same?
I will never love again

I will never love again
Can you feel the same?
(Can you feel the same?)
I will never love again
I will never love again
Can you feel the same?
(Can you feel the same?)
I will never love again
I will never love again

(SoKo - First Love Never Die)

Lelaki itu Merindukan Daratan

Tepat 1 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu kita mulai berbagi asa, berbagi cinta, berbagi hasrat.

Tak ada yang tau ketika kita menghabiskan malam selepas hujan di senja hari. Tak ada yang bergunjing ketika sinar mentari membelai tubuh telanjang kita berdua. Tak ada yang menilai ketika kasih berkunjung dihati berbeda generasi.

“Kita berbeda”, kataku. “Tak masalah”, jawabmu sambil menggenggam jemariku. “Mereka pasti menghujat”, kesahku. “Aku hanya peduli dengan kita”, tenangmu. “Bolehkah aku melepas penat hidup di pundakmu?”, tanyaku menahan haru. “Peluk lah aku sekarang, sayang”. Kemudian aku hanya dapat merasakan wangi tubuhmu.

Di malam penghujung tahun, ada kita berdua ditempat favoritmu. Ada wangi tanah segar sehabis hujan. Ada dingin yang menghingapi permukaan kulit. Ada gemerisik dedaunan berirama mencipta lagu di tengah keheningan pegunungan. Ada kau yang terus menggenggam tanganku karena kau tau aku tak kuat akan dingin. Jangan merasa bersalah, kataku sambil menatap matamu.

Saat itu kau bercerita tentang minuman yang selalu kau minum sebelum tidurmu, anggur merah. Saat itu kau bercerita tentang lautan dan bintang utara. Katamu, ada seorang lelaki yang pergi melaut sendirian karena ia percaya manusia harus belajar dari laut. Berminggu ia berada di laut, tak ada makanan yang tersisa di kapalnya. “Sialnya ia tersesat”, ujarmu. “Tidak ada kompas apalagi GPS saat itu”, candamu sambil menatap langit. Suatu ketika ia menemukan gudang tua berisikan anggur merah yang sama tuanya dengan  gudang itu. Lelaki itu tersenyum getir karena merasa menemukan temannya. Lalu, diambilnya dua botol anggur merah untuk diminum di dek. Malam itu laut terasa lebih mencekam walaupun tak ada badai. Pertama kali diteguknya anggur merah itu, ia pun tiba-tiba menangis. Pahit, ia teringat keputusannya untuk meninggalkan daratan hingga tersesat di lautan. Didecapnya lidahnya, ada menempel rasa manis. Ia pun kembali menangis teringat betapa ia merindu akan daratan. Ia memukul kepalanya dengan kedua tangannya yang gemetar, berharap terlupa akan keegoisannya. Tentu saja ia tau hal itu akan sia-sia. Kembali diteguknya anggur merah berharap akan mabuk untuk sedikit melupakan rasa sepinya. “Anggur merah bukan seperti minuman alkohol lainnya yang cepat membuatmu mabuk, sayang”, katamu sambil menghela napas. Pada saat itulah lelaki tersebut melihat ada bintang utara dimalam yang cerah. Kembali ia teringat mitos pelaut lainnya untuk menuju bintang utara apabila tersesat di lautan. Lelaki tersebut menemukan bintang utaranya. Kau pun menutup ceritamu.

“Kau tau sayang, lelaki itu aku. Tentu saja tidak secara harafiah, karena aku tidak sedang melaut. Bintang utara itu kamu”, tanganmu semakin mengenggam erat tanganku. Ingin rasanya aku mengatakan bahwa genggaman tanganmu menyakitkan, tapi tidak bisa kukatakan karena pada saat itu hatiku terasa lebih sakit. Terlintas pertanyaan dipikiranku, bagaimana kalau ia telah sampai di daratan? Ia tidak akan membutuhkan bintang utara lagi. Dan aku tau kenapa kau pergi dari daratan untuk pertama kali.

Selepas malam itu, aku merasa tersudut dengan masa lalumu. Kau memang tidak pernah cerita tentang masa lalumu yang sudah menjadi pergunjingan teman-teman sosialmu yang juga sampai ke telinga teman-temanku. Aku seakan tidak peduli tentang masa lalu ketika menjadi perbincangan teman-temanku. Toh, mereka tidak mengetahui tentang kita seperti teman-teman sosialmu yang juga tidak tau. Tapi, tetap saja cerita mereka menyakitkan hatiku.

Rupanya pikiran tidak dapat disembunyikan. Kau merasa aku semakin menjauh karena akhirnya kau menyadari bahwa ceritamu secara tidak langsung mengatakan bahwa kau masih merindukan pujaan hati di masa lalumu. Beberapa temanku menyadari keuringanku, walaupun mereka tidak tau tentang kita. Suatu saat salah satu dari mereka berkata, “Kau boleh bercerita tentang hubunganmu kalau itu bisa membantu melegakan hatimu”. Aku hanya tersenyum sambil berkata “Hubunganku bukan untuk diceritakan ke kalian karena aku tau itu tak akan melegakanku. Maaf”. Mereka memelukku, aku menangis. Betapa mereka memahami sifatku yang satu ini.

Lalu, tepat 4 bulan yang lalu kita memutuskan berteman dengan pedih, kecewa, lelah. Pada saat itu kita memutuskan kembali berjalan sendiri. Kisahmu tetap menjadi perbincangan di antara teman-temanku tanpa mereka tau ada yang menahan perih.

Entah, Lalu, Apa?

Entah apa yang bermain tanpa jeda di dalam pikiran. Entah apa yg bertarung sampai raga terasa lelah. Entah apa yang menikam hingga hati mati rasa.

Mereka bilang aku gelisah, kenapa kau lupa akan satu hal ketika gelisah melanda?Harapan? Kata orang harapan menjadi teman disetiap kegelapan. Mereka bilang harapan menjadi kekuatan disaat lelah mengunjungi. Kenapa kau tak berharap?

Kalian kira aku tidak pernah berharap? Kalian kira aku tidak bertegur sapa dengan harapan? Kalian kira aku tidak mencoba dengannya?

Tidak kah kalian sadar bahwa semua ini disebabkan harapan? Tapi, semuanya berlalu hingga pilu. Menusuk hingga membusuk. Aku lelah dengan harapan.

Apa kalian tau lelahnya menjadi mawar? Ditanam dan dipuji hanya untuk menjadi saksi bisu. Kenapa tak Kau biarkan saja aku menjadi kaktus di tengah kegersangan? Setidaknya ia tidak pernah berharap untuk tumbuh ditengah kesuburan. Setidaknya ia tau kegersangan menjadi tempat hidupnya